The Renaissance

Everyone has a story to tell, sometimes they are the tales we whisper in the still of the night when only kleptomaniacs plot and debauchery thrives or they are the stories we retell, when everyone is listening and we feel alive as our audience throw stares of admiration in our way, as the damsel seated next to us, tightens their grip, the memories we try to relive just to remember and glow in the moment one more time. Then there are the players in the stories that are long gone and the only way we can remember them is through those times we get lost in that drive through memory lane. Oh and those stories told by people that belittle the experiences you thought were tough for you but the owners say them with so much bravado it reminds you the amount of pain, suffering that we are designed to take without throwing in the towel. 

Then there are the stories caught in the red tape; the right crowd, right environment, right weather never conjured and plotted to appear on the same day and thus we house them in, hoping they never leave the cage we’ve built for them. But the stories we hide the most are the ones that eventually cause a hullabaloo, a mini fiesta when they slither gracefully into the public domain. Who cares though, don’t we all have something to hide? Something we are ashamed of…it’s innate in all of us! Remember Adam’s, natural instinct was to try and conceal his apple bite. So let things slide more often, let it all be water under the bridge when you eventually learn the truth about people we least expected their story to be the one we hear.

There are stories that we can tell through this blog, ones that I have written myself, experienced, imagined and those that are shared by others that will make people relate with what they are going through, even if it’s only one. It might cheer someone up, but most importantly if the world is wiped out one day and this is the only blog that survives then, the future generation will have some reference ey? What do you think? Well you can stop thinking right now, and welcome through this new ride;

Ahoy family! 

Welcome Albert,

He is calm and simple. The kind of simple that also demands the same from you, the damsels around you including the waitress. The kind of bloke with a persona that fills a room  even when he is silent. He stares into oblivion even though we are seated in a noisy watering hole by the road on a cool Sunday evening. He seems to be chasing a dream that seems to be out running him, don’t we all though? Waitress arrives, he isn’t quick to order. He is quite reserved, you have to pry conversation out of him or maybe the tipple hasn’t yet kicked in. There is no haste in trying to fit in, to gulp the devils liquid as if there is no tomorrow, it’s a calmness that is acquired through time, smoothened by what he has been through. Life has a way of doing that without us knowing, the system has a way of getting us in line eventually.

Albert is an upcoming underground artiste, he believes he has been put here to evoke emotion and greater purpose in all of us, he calls it conscience rap.  He doesn’t declare it outright for he knows that not everyone in this world wants to hear your story, some just want to hear it so they can belittle your dream or most probably feel better about themselves. But he insists his breakthrough is round the corner, I believe him even though he has been upcoming for 10 years.

Shifts in his seat and says, I did my undergraduate for 8 years. Everyone thought I wouldn’t finish and they even nearly convinced me too. It’s not a race he says, as long as I crossed the finish line, but I have to work harder now, smarter and diligently he says. 

Me: How will you know when you are on the right track? Fighting the good fight?

Albert: You will know…just the same way a man who is about to go down on one knee knows the answer. He never goes down if he doesn’t know the answer.

Cheers to NOT giving up champ!

O.P.T.I.O.N.S

I had missed you fam. I rarely go all feely and touchy on people but it’s been seriously a while. I guess sometimes life just happens, but in my case it has left my English all rusty and all my subtle humor seems to have flown away too. Well my sabbatical is over (allow me to call it just that), but am back now, more calm and collected, cultured some may say, but for the few who will stick around I make a solemn promise to continue making stories come to life on this page.

Moving on, I have always wanted to go the other way, when everyone else was being washed away by the current, but wanting and going the other way are two different things, so different that those who know me would wonder when did I ever go against the current. I am an avid supporter and propagator of the new constitution, especially anything and everything to do with devolution. Devolution Is just the (majimboism) of our own Kenyan sons; Ronald Ngala, Masinde Muliro & Daniel Moi (who went through a paradigm shift in political thinking), which unfortunately had to be accepted 50 years later. One wonders why it took us 50 years for us to truly realize what was really good for us? But isn’t that how we all ultimately live our lives, each day discovering new things and new ways of doing the same old stuff, discovering new options.

Options? Many a time we earthlings feel stuck in life, with the same boring job, boring local joint (the pre cursor to the weekend shenanigans), boring friends, stuck up girl/boy until Kaboom! You make new friends and they show you a new joint (where the waitress is lively and doesn’t dress like she missed class 101 at Utalii College) and the nyama choma guy knows what KILUMA is? (If you don’t know, then you’re stuck up too), You hook up with some new chic who isn’t always hang up with how much PS4 you play, better yet she tells you to scoot over. Oh and she takes her whiskey neat! ß Research shows that you only meet these ones after every 201 days! #Sigh. 201 days? Huh? That’s what I also asked, don’t worry.

Having options, keeps us alive, it always keeps us second guessing ourselves, keeps us on our toes, but most importantly it steers us away from Pastor Kanyari’s Christian rhetoric’s, the hogwash from our leaders that they’re doing their best to safeguard our security and the hope that if we continue doing what we did yesterday we will get different results.

As I write this am craving some serious whiskey , but I realize I need to create options for myself, for now, after a life of sticking to the plan, you eventually realize that the glue wanes in strength after sometime and you have to sit and rethink (or stand, if you think better while standing), wiggle out, because that’s what has to be done, because its human nature, its in-built – We humans are not meant to be stuck or feel stuck, We are meant to have options in life.

                                 “You have as many options as you give yourself.”

                                                                       Kasie West

P.S: Its been a while since I wrote, so forgive any literary errors.

Such is life...

Right now, am on that We Major bitter sweet symphony; that smooth Kanye flow, the kind of stuff that takes your mind to a lyrical island where truth is served with Beethoven on the background, oh well but that’s before Jaguar’s one centimeter booms from the jav…aaaargh!! Such is life. Why can’t bliss just last forever? Just when you think you have found happiness the universe in its infinite wisdom has a way of snatching that cup from you just like the donkey is always after the elusive carrot.         

                  

Everything is a rat race, vanity! Misery is one of the number one causes of death; I guess the universe figures that if we stay happy for long enough we might just decide to stay for the long haul. Everything we have ever wanted is on the other side of fear but mustering that courage ultimately is our ONLY stumbling block, our Achilles’ heel to a life of happiness. From those qualifications we think wecan’t acquire, to that oomph! That one missus who gets you… #sigh! To that investment we shy from because our balls aren’t big enough 24/7. Such is life!

My mind on its travels thought and mused that if the sun came up for just 30 mins at around midnight on that pay day members furahi… #cough #cough, am guessingyou know what am trying to say there, most of us would take for the hills?  Shouldn’t happy be able to be experienced at all times without any fear of anything? Maybe it’s just me trying to wallow in my sadness and trying to make it look like I have a following by making it seem that everyone is like me, hiding behind everything under the ‘such is life’ umbrella? Maybe... or just maybe not!

Such is life, cruel! Everything can blow up all at once, boom! And there you start to think, the hell, couldn’t you give me a month or better yet a week before bombarding me with shitty news? But I guess that’s the beauty of everything, having to look back later and remembering your regrets, failures, joys, and triumphs and trying to change what’s still within your reach. Such is life though, if you ask me…but who’s asking anyway?

*Heads to sleep* - stick around this page, this is a nostalgic post, but happy and funny is ahead…such is life!!!

SLAYER OF DREAMS

Comfortable, contented, satisfied are three words that have constantly been etched in my daily routine for the last couple of weeks, I could blame it on the slow, sweaty and humid conditions at the coast, better yet I could pin it on the blanket of laziness that seems to keep this coastal city warm all year round. Complacency has caused the death of many dreams; I think its synonym should be more like ‘slayer of dreams’. 

“The arrogance of success is to think that what we did yesterday is good enough for tomorrow.”

I am worried though that such a simple word as ‘complacency’ could take claim to thousands of dreams that have died over the years. Sigh, couldn’t have they chosen a better word, more befitting of the status and reputation that the word has come to be known with.

I shuffle back a couple of years back, backpack slung on my shoulders full of dreams, ambition, a flame for the finer things of life, naivety of a teenager and the energy of the revitalized opposition leader (One must command immense influence to declare a public holiday with no basis and a big chunk of the country actually listens) ----> story for another day though! Fast forward  a couple of years later, and the backpack is still slung on the shoulder but its contents have changed, its beat down and filled with doubt, disappointments, anger but most importantly ‘complacency’ and all its synonyms that come along with it ....#sigh.  

I fear that this script is cliche’ to many of us earthlings, we get into the routine, daily norms and the well too familiar chartered paths of our predecessors knowing full well of the outcome but choosing to ignore that since we are complacent and in tandem with conventional thinking practices. We finish school and most of us just want that big corporate job, but after a year we realize that we need to supplement our income especially for dudes once these statements become all too familiar (Oh I need to go to the salon…bla bla bla), and then we all dip our heads into the conventional side hustles, mpesa shop, rearing chicken, movie & game parlors nini nini …you know how it is!

So am guessing now you we can agree that ‘complacency’ and ‘conventional thinking’ should both take equal responsibility for such mass murder of dreams. 

But isn’t conventional thinking really made up of what we decide it to be, if we all decided to have dinner for breakfast each day, wouldn’t that be considered as the new norm? But we are afraid, because whereas you might decide to have dinner for breakfast, the rest might not and then you will have to change because we are afraid to stand out, walk alone, turn right when all are going left. This inability is inherent in all of us, and so don’t beat down yourself when you find your current state to be in tandem with this way of life, but each day we can strive to be different, to stand out but tag a friend along so that what you fathom will one day be conventional thinking, if you get the right numbers to subscribe to your school of thought. 

“Nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future”

ABOUT TIME

When the year started I set out to write two posts a month. Well am not fairing so well taking into account that its been ninety days since my last post but whose counting? Anyway for sure my lack of writing cannot be pinned on the proverbial writers block whose defence all writers use when their creativity waivers, first because I am not a writer and second, well we shall come to that later.

It’s been a while since I last posted on this page, heck I haven’t done any writing of sorts for a while. Its fair to say that I have been away longer from this blog than the US based Kenyan opposition leader christened ‘baba’ has been away from Kenya. It’s five in the a.m as I punch away from the third floor of a tiny hotel room in Voi. Voi? Yes, this is the town where women have been going to the government in droves to complain about the denial of their basic human rights from their better (best) halves. Some may say that I am here (Voi) to redeem the reputation of men folk, while others may just think that I am a traveler whose bus broke down on his way to Nairobi last night.

Life has moved on, memories have been made, friendships borne; lessons learnt, enemies made, bridges burnt and money spent. <<-This here is basically sums up what has happened to me over the last couple of month that I have been away.

First step is always the toughest though, think back fellas; first bike ride, first drive by, first kiss… okay, you get the point! I am past the first step now and guess we can confidently ask, Guess who’s back? Back again?

                                                                          

                                                                       

JUST IN CASE...

                                                                   

                                                                    

Even the best laid plans could come tumbling leaving one to think, how did it happen? Maybe that’s what played through the mind of J.P. Morgan (owner of the White Star Line) on a cold night in April 14^th to 15^th in 1912 when news reached him that the unsinkable ship had actually slowly but surely descended and found a new home at the bottom of the cold Atlantic ocean. It’s documented that the Titanic was designed to stay afloat even in the harshest conditions known to man at the time. It took three years to design and build the titanic yet it only took a meager three hours for it to sink to the bottom. A paltry three hours is all it took for three years efforts to be dwarfed and thwarted. Many of us have watched the movie but the real intentions of the script writer were lost in the love story of Emilio Portalupi and Madeleine Talmage Astor. I bet it was supposed to come in as a sideshow, but sadly it’s what captured most of our imaginations. That love story is a constant reminder that the best things are enjoyed only for a short period at best. I bet J.P. Morgan (owner of the White Star Line) turned in his grave when Titanic premiered for he knew no one really took a pause, calmed their emotions and just wondered how things could go wrong so fast. The Titanic was designed so meticulously with attention to detail that rivals very many future inventions that have come to pass but the fact that it sunk proves to us that even the best laid plans and designs fail, not because of our inability to forecast  potential scenarios of destruction but it’s due to our inherent inability to know the future with certainty (the sonar was invented immediately after the Titanic sank to ensure future accidents of that nature do not occur again). That’s why I believe that a 'just in case' clause should be inserted at the end of all plans we make, best laid out or not!

Funny enough, most of us go through life believing that our plans are foolproof, never wanting to believe that stuff may not work out due to things we couldn’t imagine or let downs by people we thought we could trust or systems we believed would not fail. You’re probably wondering that some of my plans might have really gone wrong for me too rant and focus on just three words ‘just in case’. Well I can’t say thats entirely wrong but the holidays were a real eye opener for me. Drinking down the hot humid days at the coast and chatting away the afternoons did not all go to waste. Listening to my old folks and uncles reminiscing glory days long gone, faded memories was somewhat interesting. Though inhibitions were lost with each passing sip and caution was thrown to the wind, lessons always prevailed…you know how old folks are. Women were one of the topics that remained afloat throughout the entire conversations. Be skeptical with all your plans even with relationships my sons they went on and on. Stories of how too much trust is for fools and those naive to the ways of the world. Stories of men who planned for till 'deaths do us' part but failed to pay attention to details and succumbed to their inadequacies. Left their wives to be driven by their neighbors to work each day with no second thoughts to the idea. Surely she will not be asked about how her kids and husband are doing every day or of men whose wives give massages for a living and their clients tell you that they do a really good job! So pay attention to detail and leave nothing to chance and constantly think about what if, for just in case it happens you will not be caught unawares and resort to finding hope at the bottom of that bottle.

                                                                     

                                                          

Wake up!!! We’ve all heard of all the big corporations that were untouchable but came tumbling down in the snap of a finger, like the snapping of a twig when you’re sneaking in home after a late night that alerts the dogs to start barking and wake up the whole damn neighborhood. The examples are endless from Kodak who shelved the digital camera idea and stuck with their old operations not knowing how it would all come to blow up in their faces or Motorola-remember them, they were at the peak of the mobile food chain but their failure to capitalize on smart phones eventually led to their inevitable fall. These are some of the few corporations that thought their strategic plans were foolproof. Some may quickly jump to the conclusion that they failed to anticipate the future, they were not innovative enough, I think it’s just an element of poor planning. Big corporations are headed by humans too, so we have to cut them some slack when things go haywire, they are all out there just trying to get their organizations to the top and build their legacies not forgetting making their salaries and allowances bigger. Am afraid and try to constantly keep away from the constant complainer, you know the guy who sees all the wrong and the negative side of things like they get a prize for negative energy that they inject and all the ideas and efforts of their colleagues they shoot down. Employees are always complaining our organizations are planning to fail, management is slow and their decisions too. We have to fight for what we believe in whether we are wrong and though it may ultimately cost us our jobs or even relationships as long as we know it’s right and it’s what we stand for, nevertheless we should also know when to let go regardless for that’s the true mark of progressive person. We cannot all be in top management but we can influence plans and decisions that seem doomed to fail. Raise your suggestions constantly, fight for them if you think that’s the direction they should take for someone will eventually listen. They said John the Baptist was mad, but they did eventually listen. So we are all human and therefore we plan (even the drunkard plans to wake up in the morning to go and drink) from the father, mother, pastor, manager, cleaner so let’s listen to those with different views and perspectives when they hear of our plans, just in case they are right.

We constantly need to ask ourselves the questions for tomorrow for we are in a constantly changing world. The future cannot be predicted using past results, we can only forecast. And that my friends is the beauty of life. The inability to know what would happen in the future is impetus for our constant need to plan. There is a saying that goes 'even the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray'. The golden sixties is what they were called back then , when our economy was growing at the pace of modern day giants, we have nothing to show of it though and that we can put sole blame on our inability to plan. Our leaders seem to have lost the plot; formulating short term polices expecting long term solutions. I am currently reading I think, what we should call the 'The Financial Bible'. It’s called The Richest Man in Babylon. I think everyone should get a copy of this book for I believe it could curtail your life to a whole new level, it could be the difference. Am savoring every chapter like it’s the last slice of that pepperoni pizza. I don't want to say much about it, heck I am not going to say anything about it for I fear my words will not do the book justice. But for ya'll who want to plan financially...read this-----> The Richest Man in Babylon

                                                              

            

Bad things happen to good people too, that’s why am always skeptical about life, am not saying am a good person nor am I endorsing the fact that I am a bad person either. I am just saying that I try! I know that trying is not good enough but that’s what it is right now, but that’s not how I plan on letting things be for long, so watch this space. The way our creator meant was for us to live in a world that planning was going to be the only way we survive. A time to be born, and a time to die - A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted - A time to keep silence, and a time to speak - A time to love, and a time to hate…and so on and on. Regardless I am saddened that many people do not put in provisions for plans that don’t turn out so great, deal with it…its life, no one said it was going to be walk in the park.  This doesn’t mean that we shouldn't plan and aim for the stars but let’s put in mind that sometimes we may not even land on the moon, let alone leave the ground. As Wale Akiyemi puts it, the fruits of our failures could be the seeds for our success. So don’t stick too much to the failing plan, just in case it isn’t the one.

IT'S A WRAP

It was dubbed the Year of the Faith. It’s hard to imagine 365 days, 52 weeks are nearly gone by and it feels just like yesterday we were ushering the New Year…I know that saying is cliché but really, it feels like yesterday. I was at the Bella vista New Year party having thrown all caution to the wind jumping up and down to the fist thumping music of today’s times. Karen was her name, I remember…a piece of art - am tempted to call her a masterpiece, it’s sad though that it was never meant to be. That’s how vivid that 31^st 2012 is, like its yesterday. That memory is still so fresh or maybe it’s just due to my super photographic memory.

Sigh the year of the faith is gone, but I am glad He has been faithful. So I wrote Him a letter to acknowledge and thank Him for 2013 and to throw in a list of things or opportunities that I would not mind coming my way. I didn't know your address but I have constantly felt you were the first to subscribe to my blog so what the hell…I know you will get this one too.

Dear God,

Am nervous, I have never done this before, written to you, although we talk all the time.Okay, I know I do all of the talking most of the time and you listen without complaint each day so I thought of doing a blog post just to find out if you’ll get the message since I told you to subscribe ages ago…lets see if you did. (chuckles).

It’s been a long year with its ups and downs and when it all started I did not know what you had in store for me, but so much good and so many blessings have come down on me to the extent I sometimes wonder if I am worthy of all this. Hey, am not saying that you close those floodgates of abundant blessings on me but this is just my way of saying that I have been pleasantly surprised each day this year and I am so grateful. You know these are the things that you don’t say much about because words only belittle their significance but I will give it a try.

I must say this year I have learnt a lot from you and about you…found out you have a sense of humor too. But you have taught me that your timing is always right. Regardless of how I sometimes felt that you were too slow like the coastal folks (oops) in handling your in-tray, you have taught me to be graceful both in waiting and asking. It was tough since I wanted everything at once, but you gave me most of them at your own timing. In retrospect I see your infinite wisdom. Finally I got a job, a good job (am a knowledge worker by the way…am paid to think)  and the opportunities are endless and moving forward the future looks bright, am grateful. I have flourished each day since you connected my employer and me and I have learnt a lot and still keep learning each day. But I must say sometimes laziness and negligence creep in, please do not think that I do not appreciate this opportunity given, it’s my character defect and my character is a work in progress. Jealousy from time to time creeps in and settles in when I see my fellow employees excelling and being rewarded. Teach me to be happy for others and to take their success as a challenge to strive for better, and to work hard, diligently and smart because those are the virtues you reward.

Family is important and that, you have constantly drummed into me throughout this year. It would have been impossible for me without my family this year. Constantly encouraging and pushing me on. The struggle was easier because they were there, am grateful. Though sometimes I am distant to my peoples and sometimes feel that they are constantly on my case, but then with time I realize they are your lieutenants that you put by my side to care and show me the way. I sometimes think my dad and mum are my Joseph and Mary. You gave them to me without asking because you knew I would be a perfect fit with them and they would stand by me through the darkest of times and we would share happy moments for years on end. All I ask is that you make me more patient for I lose my cool with them more often than not. That I may strive to understand them and this may be our year.

Well I graduated this year…finally! It was along wait I must say, and the journey was long and tough. I have learnt more these last three years than during any other part of my short life, but the most important  one is that your voice is only heard by a quiet calm relaxed mind. Campus life is no joke, and there are perils along the way that only we must be wary of each day…I must say I cannot confidently say I beat them all but I survived, heavily scarred though, but I know time will make my scars all fade away and they will seem like a slight blight on a heart striving to be with no blemish.All that was because I was abit jumpy and edgy but my thoughts are now more conscious and relaxed and I thank campus for that! You have taught that more often than not I will have to detach myself from all the madness, and chill out so that you can show me the way. Teach me then this year to know how to ran away from all the madness so you could show me your way.

I don’t want to bore you with a lot, (I know many other prayers, letters, posts, are trickling in) but in summary those are the biggest teachings I got this year. There are many others I didn't get but don’t tire for I am a willing learner and hopefully will become a better catholic next year. You were gracious in teaching me life lessons as you were in showering blessings too.  I bet 2014 will come with a bucketful of blessings and shitty days, but remind me that a bad day doesn't necessarily  mean it’s a bad life. I lost a couple of friends this year but for each I lost you gave me another, am grateful. She finally decided she had, had enough of me this year, I don’t know if she will be back but remind me always never to leave the one I love for the one I like, for the one I like will one day leave me for the one they love.

I am putting down my resolutions now, before I head out and imbibe the finest whiskey but am aiming for the stars come 2014 so help me. Don’t leave me when even when I question your very existence, scream and shout at you, slander your name or live like you don’t even exist. It’s a tough world out here and I know am only human and so I will falter and stutter along the way but always keep my eyes on the prize!

Kindest regards